Hello. Welcome to my website. It started while I was in Europe for a semester, and I've kept it up since then. I'm now at the University of Chicago Law School, living in Hyde Park, and the story continues. If you want to say hi or visit me, email cfloyd at uchicago dot edu.
"Life is nothing if not the sum of your anecdotes." -Scotty The Body, on storytelling "But it ain't that bad, man. Just figure out the system before the system figures out you." -T. Matthew Smith, on the 1L year "The beer just doesn't taste as good when you're not drinking it with your buddies." -Anon., on being away from good friends "Somebody has to pay the rent around here. Why the hell not us?" -Cotton, on studying for exams
1/31/2004
I just got done with an indoor soccer game. I was the goalie. Apparently I did well enough, although I didn't feel like I had a clue. I'm more of a baseball guy. Oh well, soccer's a communist sport anyway. Dirty communists.
Right, anyway, enough McCarthy channeling. Now it's time for me to do work, and a lot of it. If anything, you'll probably see an increase in my online activity, as I spend more time on the computer and willfully distract myself.
1/27/2004
Instead of reading my Criminal Law cases, I've just finished an AIM discussion with the Body about the top four actors of our generation. We define our generation as those actors who are still under 40 or have only reached stardom after 1990.
Our list, in no particular order:
Brad Pitt
Jon Cusack
Denzel Washington (Glory was 1989, but he counts)
Johnny Depp
1/26/2004 Received this email. My responses are in italics:
Charlie, I came across this and want to know if there is any truth to it:
A Real World Guide to being A Chicagoan
1. First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Chi-caw-go, or Cha-ca-ga depending on if you live north or South of Roosevelt Rd.
Yes, but there are more like four or five different ways. I've been trying out different methods.
2. Next, if your road map is more than a few weeks old, throw it out and buy new one.
There is a fair bit of construction. And all the streets are one-way, so it takes forever to figure it out.
3. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Chicago has its own version of traffic rules... "Hold on and pray."
As the behavioral economics people say, we've got a real collective action problem here. Folks don't stop at stop signs, and 45mph means 70. Wait a beat at green, because red means slow down, not stop.
4. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Chicago. We all drive like that.
See above. Jesus. And try taking a cab...
5. All directions start with, "I-94" ... which has no beginning and no end.
Now it's I-90/94, and it goes FOREVER. Also, Halstead. That street probably doesn't stop until somewhere in Indiana.
6. The morning rush hour is from 5 to 11. The evening rush hour is from 2 to 8. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.
True. And there's a lunch rush too.
7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
See above.
8. Car horns are actually "Road Rage" indicators.
This is not true. They are simply indicators that someone else disagrees with your safe style of driving, and they are used liberally. The first week I was in town I was ready to put it in park and start swinging about 50 times, before I realized this. This is as opposed to Oklahoma, where a horn was only for imminent danger or to signal a willingness to engage in an extra-vehicular fistfight.
9. All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. Period.
They do not stop. Crazy devil women.
10. If it's 100 degrees, It's Taste of Chicago.
I don't know what this means. Somebody leave a comment and enlighten me.
11. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, It's opening day at Comisky Park.
Not to mention every damn day of winter.
12. If you go to the Wrigley Field, pay the $25.00 to park in "Cubs Lot." Parking elsewhere could cost up to $2500 for damages, towing fees, parking tickets, etc.
Yes, and parking is closer to $50.00 these days. 1/26/2004 08:58:00 PM
1/25/2004
Oh my god. I've just come across all these remixes of Howard Dean being insane. Check it out on the MTV website here.
Dean's going down hard. That's a shame. I was looking forward to gleefully voting against him. Now I'm may have to make a measured consideration of both party's candidates, rather than just rejecting a Democrat joke.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
- You can leave the motel bed unmade.
- You can kill your own food.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
- Everything on your face stays its original color.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
- You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
- You don't mooch off other's desserts.
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes
1/25/2004 12:58:00 PM
(Not my work, but still funny)
Dang, It's Good to Be a Man! Part 1 of 2
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't give a rat's behind if someone notices your new haircut.
- The world is your urinal.
- You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
- Same work... more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
- Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
- One mood, ALL the dang time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- Your belly usually hides your big hips.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife
1/24/2004
Won the game 60-35. I played tenacious defense; I'm not much of a scoring threat but I harass the hell out of my man. Still working on my fadeaway 16-footer.
1/24/2004 01:47:00 PM
1/21/2004
Tonight I have an intramural basketball game. I'm on a team with seven other classmates. We're up against another 1L team, and it should be a lot of fun. Since I'm slow, can't jump, and can't shoot, I'm in charge of smack-talking. Hopefully it goes well.
1/21/2004 06:19:00 PM
1/20/2004
Sooooo...
We meet again.
Law school is my life. Law school is mundane. Thus, my life is mundane. I wake up. I work out. I go to school. I attend class. I finish class and stay at school and read for two to four hours. I go home, cook dinner, read, and go to bed.
That's about it.
But as Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David were able to make a show about nothing, I will continue to write about nothing.
The days aren't ever the same. Something funny always happens. I know this because I laugh everyday. So I will endeavor to share that humor with you.
1/02/2004
Ironic, that my last post mentioned calling me. On New Year's my phone took an improbable tumble into a toilet and died instantly. No fanfare. No sparks. It just won't turn on. So now I have to get a new phone and replace all the numbers. Damn technology, damn me.
So email me with your phone number so that I have it, unless you've recently sent a contact info mass email with me on the list. This especially applies to all you Chicago peeps whose numbers I never bothered memorizing, and all you people I just saw over break, who I won't see again until next holiday.
1/02/2004 04:07:00 PM
