Hello. Welcome to my website. It started while I was in Europe for a semester, and I've kept it up since then. I'm now at the University of Chicago Law School, living in Hyde Park, and the story continues. If you want to say hi or visit me, email cfloyd at uchicago dot edu.
"Life is nothing if not the sum of your anecdotes." -Scotty The Body, on storytelling "But it ain't that bad, man. Just figure out the system before the system figures out you." -T. Matthew Smith, on the 1L year "The beer just doesn't taste as good when you're not drinking it with your buddies." -Anon., on being away from good friends "Somebody has to pay the rent around here. Why the hell not us?" -Cotton, on studying for exams
I'm hopelessly behind in life. Just see my metrosexual reference below. Sooo 2003.
Even though this guy has apparently been on the Today Show already, I hadn't heard of him until today. Anybody need a wedding dress?
4/29/2004 06:01:00 PM
4/28/2004
Man, do I hate highlighters. I'm sitting in the library and everybody is fervently highlighting passages in their textbooks. Like, "This passage, right here, the one i'm painting yellow, this passage is the most important thing on Civil Procedure that I've ever read in my life. Oh Allah, bless you for allowing me the pleasure of marking this paragraph."
Today an alarm went off and everybody had to go outside. I think I set off the alarm. I'm not sure how or why, but I think it was my fault. The firemen came really quickly. I wish I had been a fireman instead of an aspiring lawyer. I think it would be mostly fun, spiked with danger. And as you all know, Danger is my middle name. Okay, Patrick is, but Danger is what I would have chosen. C'mon Mom and Dad, couldn't you have picked a better name than Patrick? Charles Danger Floyd. Awesome.
It's windy as hell here. I don't think it's quite as windy as Oklahoma, but it's close. They should call this town the Windy City. That would be a great nickname for Chicago. Chicago, The Windy City. I'm a genius.
Maybe I should have been a jockey instead of a law student/fireman. I'd like to learn to ride horses. And then they could make a movie about me and my horse. I'd name my horse Lakemuffin. Like Seabiscuit, but tougher-sounding. Yep, should have been a jockey. A 5'-10", 195-lb jockey. Guess Lakemuffin will have to be big.
4/28/2004 12:36:00 PM
4/27/2004
I think I may grow a moustache. Why is it that the days of "Magnum, P.I." have to be over? Tom Selleck had one and was awesome. It follows that if I had one, my degree of awesomeness would go even higher than its already stellar level. I would kick Anatole. Anybody remember the Hotel Anatole in Dallas, OU/TX 2000? Like awesome times a thousand. If something kicks Anatole it whoops like ten thousand asses.
I wonder how long it would take me to grow a decent moustache. I figure I could look like these guys in a month or so.
4/25/2004
I was looking at a picture of the Washington, D.C. abortion rallies in the New York Times. The photo was a of huge group of women holding signs and shouting stuff. Look at that one male in the middle! Hm, I wonder what he was doing there? Surely he has no ulterior motives.
Good luck, dude. But be careful with your pickup lines. They'll tear you up. It's like Homer at Lollapalooza: Don't commit your hate crimes here!
4/24/2004
Commenting is fixed. And I'm looking into a new, improved site called www.charliefloyd.com. I'm talking full picture section, .mp3 downloads, a discussion board, maybe even hotlinks! Big things are on the horizon, baby! Now I have to write an appellate brief.
4/23/2004
The dress norm here at law school has relaxed quite a bit since the first part of the year. Where most were dressing to impress during the opening weeks, now we dress for comfort, including ballcaps. None of the professors have ever mentioned it. Until today.
I raised my hand to comment and my Torts professor, visiting from Boston University, couldn't tell who I was with my hat on. I took it off and proceeded with the question. No problem. There were at least ten guys with caps in the room. After class I was in an elevator with him and apologized for the hat. He said he didn't find it offensive, but he knew of a professor at BU who told his students, "The only people who wear backwards ballcaps are washed-up baseball players and washed-up law students."
I said, "Well that's great, because I'm both!" Then I got off the elevator.
4/20/2004
When you live right around the corner from where some guy got shot, your mindset alters in some strange ways:
When I step out to run an errand I check the scene to make sure the coast is clear.
My new workout is practicing my duck-and-cover danger rolls.
I mentally debate whether I'd hold up my backpack to try and deflect a bullet even though my laptop would get hit and I'd lose all my notes.
And just now I heard some thunder outside and thought, "Goddamn, that was big gun."
4/20/2004 06:18:00 PM
4/19/2004
Serious moment, begin.
I don't get political anymore on this site.
But we're at war.
Remember that. Go here, and scroll down and click on the "Wounded in the Line of Duty" audio slide show. Watch the whole thing. If you're in favor of the war, make sure your views square with the sacrifice these men made. If you're against the war, make sure you listen to what these wounded men say about whether their own sacrifices were worth anything.
Serious moment, end.
4/19/2004 10:10:00 PM
Funny how people take old phrases like "keep it real" or "rad, man" and declare that they're bringing them back. Okay, I do that too. I just want to point out, though, that this only works in like 10% of cases, and those are just near-term. I don't know if anyone short of Jesus can bring a phrase truly "back." Maybe Ashton Kutcher.
If you're a Sooner fan, I have a truly awesometacular video for you. It gave me goosebumps and I almost cried at the end. It's a huge file, so you need broadband. It's right here. See it on Soonerfans message board here. Courtesy of Superfan himself, David Bassity.
My bike had a flat so I took it to the bike shop nearby. Isn't a bikeshop usually run by hippies? This one wasn't. I've never been to a belligerent bike shop, but this one was close.
Pardon me, hello... I need a new tire.
[not looking up] Pick one out.
Could you help me? I'm not sure what I need.
Pick one that looks like the one on your bike.
Could you pick one?
Pick one out. Fifteen dollars. Tube's five.
Will you do it for me?
Labor's seven.
Okay.
Take the lock off.
Um, it's not locked.
You can't leave it here with a lock.
You want me to hold the lock?
Be done in a few minutes.
Um, I thought I would just leave it.
A few minutes. Twenty seven dollars.
I was just going to go for a run after I left it...
We close at six. Two dollar overnight charge.
Well I'll go on my run I guess, since it's just 4:30.
Hurry up. It'll cost you.
Okay, sounds good, I'll be right back after my run with my shotgun you bastard bikeshop owner.
Fine, I didn't say the last line. I'd have chewed them out, but they did great work and it was really cheap for a new tire and tube and labor. I guess that's the big city. Big Shitty, I mean. Big. Shitty. City.
4/18/2004
I really dig those commercials they've been doing for a couple of years, where there's kind of emotive music, rich background and people staring. I think that's the sine qua non - people staring. You never really figure out what they're trying to sell you, but it makes you feel so... human, sitting there, staring into the box. The greatest example of this genre of commercial, I think, is that VW commercial featuring Electric Light Orchestra's "Mr. Blue Sky." There was also that one where the guy was stopping the wedding. I don't remember whose commercial that was.
I saw some dude Thursday with long hair and a tie-dye shirt. He was pushing a stroller. Barefoot. I thought that was just dumb. If you're throwing a frisbee on the quad with the members of your cooperative, patchouli-boy, that's cool. Lose the shoes, go natural. But with a stroller? What if someone steals your child and you have to chase the babysnatcher down the street? You're not getting far without at least some Birks, dude. Come on, you're a father now.
I realize that I took a bit of a dig at Dylan on Thursday. It turns out that back in 1965, when asked what might tempt him to sell out, Dylan's reply was "Ladies' undergarments." So it's cool, he warned us.. And on a side note, I puy on 'Blonde on Blonde' today. Continues to be awesome.
4/18/2004 05:29:00 PM
4/15/2004
I listen to internet radio these days because there's all kinds of great channels and because I'm tired of buying CDs. A lot of the stations are really good, and some are just plain weird. Many of them originate in Korea. You can look at ShoutCast to check out some stations. Every musical taste is there.
Some random stuff:
I have many things I really love. I love steak. And I love yogurt. I wouldn't put steak and yogurt together. I love Victoria's Secret. I love Bob Dylan. But some bright bulb had the smooth inspiration of putting them together! Honestly, have you seen this commercial? I mean, Bob Dylan's America's greatest living songwriter, but I don't think that some well-preserved musician from the 1960s is who you want selling your cutting edege lingerie. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think of "Shelter from the Storm" when I see a thong string sticking out of low-rise jeans.
I think there should be more backup singers in music, and in life in general. Backup singers always improve a song, so why wouldn't they improve other aspects of life? Think of the possibilities!
Can a gay man also be a metrosexual, or is a metrosexual by definition straight and only seem gay? Or does a metrosexual even seem gay, or is it just a function of dressing well? I know I'm about two years behind on this, but I'm still curious.
The weather here is a tease. Warm, cold, warm, cold. So I'm fooling Weather into staying warm by dressing like it's 35 even when it's 70. That'll teach that SOB.
Isn't it weird about Samuel L. Jackson? He was the coolest motha ever in 'Pulp Fiction.' No more. Now he just caricatures that performance in his roles. Bummer.
I heard some Björk today (yeah, the internet radio thing). I had almost forgot all about Björk. In case you also forgot about Björk, I just want to remind you all, Björk is weird.
I got on Friendster a week or so ago. It was exciting at first, but now it's boring. It should have some sort of game or elimination function on it. Maybe we could rate who is really deserving of friendship and who is destined to go through life alone. That would also be a great TV show.
4/15/2004 02:44:00 PM
4/14/2004
I've got a new thing going these days. Well, it's not new, it's old. But it's new like that shirt you got in 1998 from Grandma that went out of style in 1993 and is old enough that Gap and J.Crew decide it's back in style and then you run out of laundry and wear it to school and the gay guys and trendy girls are like, "Nice shirt man! That's really happening. Is it new?"
My new thing? I'm getting up in the morning again. I know, I know. It won't last. It can't last. It's like the time after the free month at the gym that you secretly know you can't afford and won't use anyway. But you know what? That's what the cynics said about the OC, and that's going strong for almost a year now! And listen, if anybody talks to Mischa, tell her it's okay and she should call me and we can figure it out. I'm not mad at her anymore.
Right, so getting up early. One thing above all has made this possible: a spare sheet. I have lots of windows in my bedroom. Windows are good, right? They let in fresh air and happy sunshine! WRONG! They let in evil street lumination and nasty sunrises. My spare sheet has come into play pinned across my windows. The bedroom is now a blackbox of thick, drowse-inducing darkness. PRAISE ALLAH! I CAN SLEEP NOW! Who knew light kept you from sleeping well? This is astounding. Truly revolutionary.
My alarm is set to 7am. I get out of bed creaking and bitching and put on my old-man pajama bottoms and dirty white T. The coffee brewed at 6:50, so I grumble my way into the kitchen, fill my cup and read online the good news about world peace breaking out and whatnot. After the first cup the creaking, bitching and grumbling subsides and I cook breakfast. What, pray telleth, doth Charles create? Listen closely, because this is clutch... OATMEAL. Yes, brothers and sisters, I have seen the light, oatmeal is the way and the truth sayeth the Lord. I repent of Nutri-grain and bagel-bites and insta-powder. I embrace the fiber! And I scramble eggs. And use Tobasco.
This has been going for like a week and a half now. It's awesome. I can screw around for a solid 90 minutes before I have to worry about school. But wait, Charlie, you say... the morning isn't possibly finished yet... what about... bathing? Listen to me true believers and infidels alike: I don't need a morning shower anymore. I BUZZED MY HEAD! Everyone who knows what time it is knows that the true reason for a morning shower is to get your hair wet so that you can comb it and not have pillow-head. But I don't have hair anymore. I keep it that way. And for one reason and for one reason alone: to escape the tyrany of the morning shower. Don't worry, I still cleanse myself. I just do it after I work out in the afternoon. It's better that way. Trust me.
Gotta read Torts now. Next up: my dalliance with internet radio, as well as a new obsession: FRIENDSTER.
I went to St. Mark's Cathedral downtown this morning. My car's broke so I took a cab. Didn't want to miss all the Easter fun!
4/11/2004 07:46:00 PM
4/10/2004
This is the second weekend of the quarter. If I'm not mistaken, this is where the grind starts to set in. I've got the big brief due two weeks from Monday, then oral arguments a week after. But this being my third repetition, there's less stress, if more work. Also, the weather is nicer these days, so I'm getting out more. At least during the day. Don't want to get mugged.
I've got basketball this afternoon. Looking forward to making a lot of passes. Since I can't shoot, jump, or dribble, I've been focusing all my energy on the assist. If somebody says to me, "Good Look!" it makes me proud as hell. The bounce to the cutter for a smooth lay-in, the kick-out for a sweet trey, maybe a far lob to the speedy cherry-picker for an easy basket--these are the specialties of the slow white man. I love it. That and tenacious D. Gives me an excuse to show up.
4/10/2004 11:07:00 AM
4/09/2004
I'm still trying to figure out summer plans. Maybe I'll give up this law gig and move to Afganistan and become a warlord.
4/09/2004 11:10:00 AM
4/06/2004
Did you see down there at March 24th that the owner of James E. McNellie's Public House called me out on my reference to his pub? Check out the comments there. My fame spreads far and wide. I emailed him and we're cool now.
But Eliot still needs help...
What makes an pub authentically Irish (assuming it's outside Dublin)?
Discuss. And the commenting for some reason is limiting word content, so until I fix it, just use multiple posts.
4/06/2004 02:56:00 PM
4/04/2004
Last night at the Riverview Tavern was the organizational meeting for a new group at the law school: S.O.F.A. That stands for Students Organized for Fun and Amusement. We are, in effect, the Fun Club. Part of the bylaws are that every member gets an office. Mine is Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Fun. There is a Lord Chancellor of Fun, a Duchess of Debauchery, a Supreme Allied Commander, a Driver of the Short Bus, and a Grand Wizard of Hilarity. I love making up titles. And we have t-shirts as well. They say on the back, "Aloha, Mr. Hand!" I mean, who doesn't secretly want to be Jeff Spicoli?
This weekend was Admitted Students Weekend here at U of C Law. I hosted an admit overnight. He was a cool guy named Sean Murphy, from Michigan's Upper Peninsula. I hope he liked the couch.
Friday night we had delicious deep dish pizza downtown at Pizzeria Due. The wait was long but we preordered our pies, and they arrived very quickly after we were seated. I met several of next year's 1L class, and they all seemed like great people. I'm looking forward to seeing them, so they can take over the reins of stress and anxiety while I begin to cruise through my second and third years. BUAHAHAHAHA!
Also, [Famous] Scotty the Body and his moot court teammates, Dais and Missy, were in town competing in ABA Moot Court nationals. They ending up making it to quarterfinals, which, depending on the other teams, means they are possibly one of the top five moot court teams in the nation. My friends are so skilled!
Congratulations also to Little Bro Goff, my fraternity roommate, for being awarded the Letseizer Award at the University of Oklahoma. Welcome to the club, dude. We're all proud.
4/04/2004 04:02:00 PM
